Glass half empty

Meeting the relos
I was staying at my aunties in Adelaide. I’d never met her, so walked straight past her at the airport. Fortunately I recognised the dog waiting outside who leapt up to greet me. Whilst the man attached to the other end of the lead took one look at me and said ‘I’ll get your Aunty’.

‘You’ve made a friend there’ said a lady next to me as the dog rolled around at my feet…it felt like a bad omen.

‘I thought it was you but you walked straight past me!’ Said my Aunty as she marched up to me. Ok. Off to a bad start.
We drove to their house situated I was to discover the next day on an island. An island. In a city. Population: 70
Average: Age 70

At least I had the dog.
The next few days past in a blur. I drove round and round the island with my Aunty pointing out every building, street sign, road works, development, block, tennis club, building, street sign…tennis club, you get he idea. ‘Jobs for the boys’ was her favourite expression as we screeched past some workmen at 25km an hour.

The beach was beautiful. Don’t stray off the path, there are snakes in the grass, wear a hat, stay out of the sun. We have no ozone layer. Were warnings.

‘Have you brought your bathers?’ Was the most numerous question popular with the The Island massive. Erm, yeah I replied. Resisting the urge to be sarcastic. Why the F*** would I come to one of the hottest countries in the world. In SUMMER and not bring my ‘bathers’ – what does that even mean? It’s a word from the 1930’s. (Perhaps the only original word that the Aussie’s have held on too). My patience was wearing low…I needed to get off The Island.