Alternative Christmas 

Part of my glee about this trip had been because of the timing – which was perfect! I would miss the UK Christmas and NY…as well as the winter months that I loathe. 

I find Christmas a very difficult time, I’ll try and summarise… 

Firstly it makes me feel genuinely sad, lonely and alone. The enforced happiness of it all, makes me want to kill myself. You’re supposed to be so happy that’s the trouble. 

Secondly there’s the fact that I have to go home to my parents house. Which only highlights the futility of my single life. My home is London, but as most of us experience Christmas demands a certain combination of guilt and duty…which means I normally have to spend Chrsitmas at my parents home rather than at my home. I am a very nearly, forty year old woman…why can’t I spend Christmas at my house eating mini treats made by Waitrose (the ultimate in supermarkets in my opinion) and drinking Baileys? Why? I work hard, mostly – why can’t I enjoy an annual holiday doing what I would like?

I know this probably sounds incredibly selfish (and reading it back even wingey) and I agree it is! I’m not saying I’m right I’m just telling you why I was so pleased to be going to Bondi Beach for Christmas.

So this was the perfect escape, I could have an Alternative Christmas. My reasoning looked like this…in percentages I’d say;
20% to see the sights

90% to miss Christmas

90% to miss January and February

40% to see my best friend 

50% to see the man from Adelaide

The rest was incidental, let’s call it happy coincidence – that I’ve always wanted to go to Oz and that my Aunty also lives in Adelaide for example, now that was a definite bonus. 

The minute I booked my trip I had an excuse not to go to go ‘home’I rubbed my hands in glee when I realised that I had a wonderful, perfect, bullet proof plan! I would be in Australia for Christmas. And there was absolutely nothing that they (my parents) could do to stop me.

Nothing…or so I thought…I had not prepared for my Mothers persistence – some would say pure stubbornness. And it certainly had not prepared me for them booking their own bloody holiday to Australia and New Zealand! For fucks sake! 

Nothing says single like a Christmas at home alone…OR your parents following you across the world to try and ruin your perfect Alternative Christmas away from them! How selfish! Grr! I tried not to freak out. 

Fine. They could have their trip – what could I do? Australia is a big country…catch me if you can! More of that later.

We could have spent Chritsmas with a friend of ours but typically we made the wrong choice. I insisted that me and my best friend spent it together, catching up. We had run out of conversation by the time we got off the bus and we walked in silence from Coogee to Bondi. We watched hundreds of other people involved in their own picnics with friends and family. We had not brought a picnic and we’d left the Prosecco at the hotel…we were having a lovely Alternative Christmas after all! 


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