I wish this was the excuse for not having blogged for so long…
(Nb: It was in fact the fault of New Zealand and it’s appallingly terrible wifi…but more of that fascinating rant later!)
I wish it was tomorrow I can’t wait for tomorrow because then it won’t be the day my Dad died anymore.
To set the scene I am now back in the UK, my best friend has returned to York to begin her life there and I returned to London to try and put the pieces of my ‘laid to one side’ life back into some order.
I’ve been job hunting, for a few weeks now…after turning down a full time position whilst we were away…which in hindsight seems a bit reticent. But that’s the sort of thing you do when you’re travelling and freedom seems to be the answer. We came back a week early due to a lack of funds so I’ve been swanning about on coin fumes for a few weeks wondering if I should have a career change…
Then my Dad died. I was en route to Gloucestershire to see my God parents when it happened. Needless to say I’ve spent today driving up and down the motorway. I don’t know what I expected the day of my Dad’s death to be like but I didn’t think it would be like this.
I did however have a premonition before I knew, whilst I was in the car, about the possibility of my Dad dying and how inconvenient it would be to have to drive back down the country…and then it did actually happen.
Amazing what you can think without meaning to or examining the consequence. Today my life has changed irrevocably and I keep making innapropriate jokes. For example; in my head I wondered if my Mum and I were to get a dog if we could call it Dave my Dads name!
Tomorrow it will be the day after the day my Dad died. The coroner will come round and explain the details of his death. Then I have to decide if I want to see the body of my dead Father. Maybe we will do that the day after the day after my Dad died.
Rest in peace Dad. I’m glad it was quick. I know how scared of death you were. I really can’t believe you’re gone, it will be another day tomorrow – it will be the day after you died…