It’s 4:03am. 

I’m awake. I’ve always been afraid of the dark, when I was little I had – what I guess they would call nightterrors now. That wasn’t a phrase that was being used in the 1970’s. 

I’m inherently a morning person, I think. I always feel more positive at dawn, when a new day is starting. I love to be awake before anyone else is…but not, ideally, because I can’t sleep. 

If I wake at 6am and go for a run I will feel great, but lying awake for two hours in the middle of the night, tossing and turning is a different bag all together. 

I worry about the most ridiculous and unimportant things and cannot get them off my mind. I’ve tried writing them down, hypnosis, audio books, counting sheep, breathing exercises, sleeping pills (herbal only) chamomile tea, milky drinks, turning off every device I own. And even getting up and doing the things on my mind. If I can. 

And yet, when morning finally comes around, as inevitably it always does, these worries I have fade away into the recesses of my mind once more. Until I struggle to recall what I was worried about. 

It’s an age thing I think. Sleep came with a price when I was a kid now it comes easily and rapidly but is snatched away quickly if I’m not careful. I’m such a light sleeper these days – why as we get older do we sleep more lightly? Easy to be disturbed…I jam on an eye mask and ear plugs as standard – and yet still get woken if my black out curtains dare to allow a sliver of light into my black haven. 

Blue light

My room at home is freezing, it really is absolutely baltic, so I got an electric blanket…despite feeling like a Granny it was absolute heaven. Like slipping into a warm marshmallow instead of a rock hard ice block. 

Half way through the night I woke up – and was nearly blinded by streams of blue light! Where was it coming from? The God damn electric blanket!

Each of the controls, one for each side, had blue lights on them, blaring out more light than a pair of street lamps. Why, why, why?! Why does my electric blanket need two bright blue lights on it? I know where it is, my bed really isn’t that big. It’s not like I’m never going to find them. Furious. I vowed to get some gaffa tape on them.


Perhaps this is how my blog will help. To blog my rampaging worries into something useful. I feel better already. Goodnight. 

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